Living Real

Somehow I managed the feat of never having an injury that required the use of crutches over the span of my 49 years. Was I just that careful? Possibly. There was that time when I had a four-wheeler wreck that I probably should have had some, but I was skipping school at the time and none of us who knew about the wreck ever told anyone it had happened. Besides, the limp wasn’t all that bad.

Then, I had a problem with my toes. As I’ve told others, on my right foot, my second toe was trying to sneak up and overtake my big toe, dragging Toe No. 3 along with it, which pulled Toe No. 4 and Toe No. 5 into the fray. All this caused the joint at the outside of my foot to protrude like a bunion even though it wasn’t. I needed surgery to go in and put Toe No. 2 in its place and fix it so that it would remember its place.

Part of the rehab after this intervention for my toes requires that I not put the foot down with any weight upon it. Think about that. You might even try it. Hold your right foot up off the ground and do some of your daily tasks without letting it touch.

The first obstacle was getting into the house. We have four steps to the porch that had to be mounted. On crutches.

Like a calf at the proverbial new gate, I gazed at the steps, crutches in place and contemplated those steps. Somehow these steps that were in truth no more than the normal 10 inches seemed to be stories high and there was no way my body was going to be propelled up them.

What to do?

Recall the parting words of one of the nurses at the surgical center, “You might have to go up steps like a baby.”

And that’s what I did. I sat down on the second one — my height placed me right there as I lowered down. Then I placed my hands on each side of me on the step and pushed my bottom up to the next step.

I’m not sure that this qualifies as me entering my second childhood, but it certainly solved that problem.

Today, God had me out of my comfort zone. Seriously so.

Not only did he have me at a yard-sale type event, where my OCD really flares up, He had me out in the heat & humidity. To top that, He had me talking to people. I usually talk to people from the safety of this side of my computer screen. Rarely even on the phone.

Today, though, I learned about some of the folks who came to our church’s Clothing Give-A-Way — a free “sale” of clothing for all ages, including some household supplies and even some furniture.

I met “K” – a precious two-year-old boy who was keeping his mom company on the porch at the church. He patiently sat in his stroller while she waited for her sister and friend to finish shopping. He had a smile bright as the dawn, though he didn’t share it a lot. I learned that his mom is only eight classes from becoming an RN and his dad just received his Master’s degree in education. Dad longs to become a coach at one of the schools in the area. Looking at K, he might be one of the best players he will have in the future.

I also met “A”. She’s ten years old with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She came with friends and ended up sharing that her mom is currently in jail for possession of drugs and other charges. A wanted to see her today, and would be able so since she’s the daughter, but there are only certain adults who can go with her. Unfortunately, no one on the list seemed to be willing or able to take her to visit with her mother. Her tears broke my heart. She is a beautiful young girl who is trapped in a world of drug and alcohol addiction and the denial that goes with it.

I heard about “Mrs. A”, who is concerned for her adult children. Although she’d raised them in church, none of them attend. During this battle she herself is fighting with colon cancer, she prays for them, hoping they’ll return to faith in God.

I listened to “D”, one of our ladies from church who regularly visits Alzheimer’s patients in the nursing home. They aren’t her family, but she visits them anyway, offering loving care for folks whose families have a difficult time understanding or dealing with their loved one’s status.

I was uncomfortable today. According to my daughter-in-law, that’s exactly where I’m supposed to be, that if I’m comfortable I won’t be learning new things and won’t be working as hard as I should.

She might be on to something there. It was a great experience I will treasure.

I’ve held my tongue, but no longer. I simply have to brag about my daughter-in-law.

A couple years ago, she was in training to take over one of the local Sonic stores as an owner. (As if that’s not enough to be proud of!) While at one of the stores in Knoxville late one night, a man came up to the store, held a gun to her head and robbed her and the store.

She’s had some rough times since then. Seems the guy had found her cell phone contract in her purse and kept the number, then called her a few times to remind her of what he’d done.

Last month, February 2010, she brought her son again to serve with our students as we cooked and served hamburgers & hot dogs for the homeless folks who came to visit us in a parking lot in Knoxville. She had even donated the burgers & dogs! (Just something else to be proud of, huh?)

The night was not uneventful. There was a very boisterous fellow who was everywhere, talking loudly to everyone — he “had things under control”. There was the guy singing & dancing hip hop. He even tried to teach me a step or two! (Okay, stop laughing. It’s not THAT funny. Okay, maybe it is, but you need to keep reading.) There was the guy I’ve shared about with no hope and a woman openly weeping.

In the midst of all that, my daughter-in-law was faced with something frightening and I didn’t know anything at all about it until I’d gotten home and saw this on her Facebook status.

Naturally, I wanted to know what this “largest issue” was and asked her. Following is the conversation we had:

A friend of hers shared, too:

Even now, my eyes fill thinking about how brave and how selfless this young woman is. She’s not only beautiful, a great wife and mom, she’s a hero and an example of the healing power of God. I’m so glad our son married her and I’m so glad she’s the mother of our grandchild.

Most of all, I’m glad I get to call her a friend.

Did you stop on this page because of that title? Did the words resonate within you or make you angry?

AWESOME! At least you’re thinking now.

I have to tell you the truth, though, I will not advocate the cessation of aid to Haiti. Simply because of the facts shown in this video:

Let’s recap those and think about them a bit, shall we?

Fact #1:

The average family struggles to live on $1.50 per day. That’s a whopping $45 a month. Convicting to think that what you pay for your cable internet is more than what a family is living on, isn’t it? And let’s look at that word “average”. That means the middle. Think back to third grade, to get the average, you add together all the numbers, then divide it by however many numbers you added. That means that there are just as many people making LESS than $1.50 per day as there are making more than that.

Fact #2:

Children die from colds in Haiti. Simple respiratory infections kill children in Haiti. Wait, you mean, the sniffles like we get that fun bubble-gum tasting amoxicillin for our kids — KILLS children? That’s exactly what I mean.  Why does that happen? Because they don’t have the clean water or the medications to prevent it.

Fact #3:

Close to 2000 children are sold into slavery each year. Two THOUSAND CHILDREN are SOLD by their family — or someone who has control over them — into SLAVERY. They don’t attend school. They don’t play and have fun. They cook, clean, iron clothes, scrub floors, and other things too despicable to mention. This issue even made it into a script of a Law & Order episode. The term for this is restavec – and while it occurs a lot, that doesn’t mean it’s right or acceptable.

Fact #4:

A devastating earthquake hit this overcrowded, poorly developed, impoverished nation on January 12, 2010. People died. Estimates put the numbers in the hundreds of thousands. Reality is, we will never actually know how many. In the time after that first quake, the area has suffered around 74 aftershocks — most of which measure above 4.2 on the Richter scale. So many of the homes were poorly built that they did not stand. The people know the buildings left standing are pretty much the same. We have heard of people jumping from the second floor of the hospital where they lay recovering because of their fear when feeling another tremor.

Now comes the real tragedy. During the first ten days of this crisis, it was all over the news. It was the topic of blog posts, news sites, spoken of by politicians and preachers alike. Then along came controversial kisses, the Super Bowl, the Grammies, the beginning of new TV seasons and somehow, Haiti has slipped from the forefront of our minds.

Just this week, Anderson Cooper and Dr. Sanjay Gupta of CNN fame have returned to Haiti. Dr. Gupta said that he just couldn’t stay away, the need is so great. I have friends who have been there since the 14th of January. They just can’t leave, the need is so great.

We have a child in Haiti. Her need is just so great. She is not in an area affected by the earthquake like so many of the children in the area around Port-au-Prince. Compassion International had around 38 of their child development centers significant affected by the earthquake. That means they are in the official “impact zone”, has reported death and injuries to children, reports significant damage to the church or other facilities and reports significant damage to the children’s homes, many of which were destroyed.

Compassion has been in Haiti for forty years, serving the needs of children and families. They have people already on the ground, loving those who are affected by this crisis. Their need is so great.

Our wealth is so great. Compared to those in this nation that has been so ravaged, even the poorest among us are like Bill Gates.  You might not be able to sponsor one of the children Compassion helps in Haiti, but there are other ways to help.  Will you?

Or will you be one of the ones who stop helping?

An excellent post today by Perry Noble tells us how to pray for our pastors. I encourage everyone to read it and pay heed.

In a nutshell, and without the explanations, the list is simple. Pray for your pastor’s:

Walk with God

Integrity

Marriage

Sanity

Health

I encourage you to go and read the entire blog post, maybe even print it out and keep it near where you spend time in prayer and then just do it!

What does it mean to “hold someone accountable”? Last year at Catalyst ’08, I listened to Jud Wilhite and Mike Foster, authors of Deadly Viper Character Assassins talk about accountability. They talked about it being a matter of having the other’s back, not judging. What they talked about was as men traveling alone on trips for conventions and such — the temptations are there to do things they’ve vowed not to do. When one calls the other and talks about dealing with that, the hearer doesn’t say, “Well, I knew you’d get into that again.” with a heavy sigh. Instead he calls him on it, then might admit that he hadn’t been really praying for his friend while he was traveling. They pray. They agree it’s a problem. They plan to pray and keep up to date more. They have each others’ back.

I’m beginning to look at accountability rather like rearing a child. From birth we strive to grow our children into wonderful, godly, mature adults. (Sometimes, we seek only for survival, but the main goal is their maturity.) We love our child, so we protect him from running out into the street without looking. How do we do that? As a toddler, we grasp his hand and hold him back. As a child, we remind him not to do it. As he grows older, our grasp loosens, yet if he makes that dash toward the street, we don’t just sit and let the inevitable happen. We cry out. We love. We confront. We love. We talk. We love. We
encourage. We love.

Yeah. That’s where I think accountability is. It’s an issue of love. If I love my partner in ministry enough, I will help her. Sometimes that will be by prayer alone. Other times it will be confronting that issue of ___________. I will say, “Partner, I’ve noticed that you seem to be struggling with ______ again. What’s up?” Then I will love and listen, then make a plan with her. Oh, yeah, and expect the same from her towards me.

I expect her to call me on stuff that’s not right in me. For me, it usually turns  up in a critical spirit. I can find fault and point fingers with the best! But that’s not where God wants me! I need my partner to call me on that. Lovingly.

Don’t you think we all need this? If so, why don’t we do it? Have we become so complacent and so “politically correct” in the Church that we won’t call sin out? Do we think we’re helping friends and family by letting them continue where they are instead of lovingly pulling them back?

There’s an answer out there, I’m sure.

I met Josh under a bridge in Knoxville last month. He walked up to the place where our students (The ConneXion) were grilling and serving plates of hamburgers with chips and a dessert. 

His left eye was red and the bruising was already beginning to show. He was shirtless, wearing denim shorts that were too large for his slender waist, cinched by a belt. He wore a cap which he removed when I first walked up to speak to him. When asked if he wanted a plate of food, his softly spoken reply was, "No, ma'am." 

I may never learn all the circumstances that have brought Josh to this place in his life, but I'd seen briefly the reason for the scratches and the bruises. He'd been involved in a wrestling, fist-flying fight mere moments before. He'd also been judged by a woman who thought she was so able to love anyone and had even proudly stated that she doesn't judge people. Now, I didn't speak my judgment, it was all inside me, but it was there nonetheless and I had to do something about it. 

While I have participated in door-to-door evangelistic visitation, I've never been comfortable with asking a person within a minute of meeting them if they have a relationship with Christ. When Josh refused the meal, I used my stock-in-trade reply, "Well, don't say we didn't try to feed you, now. It's here if you want it!"

There was something about those big brown eyes of his that held me there. A sadness beyond his 25 years. Eyes that have seen more than I have in my 49 years and I felt compelled to ask him a question that I rarely ask anyone I've just met. At this point, I didn't even know his name, yet I touched his arm and said, "Let me ask you a question. Has there ever been a time when you've accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?" 

Big brown eyes teared up as Josh told me, "Yes, ma'am. I have, once, a long time ago. My daddy has been a preacher a long time. I know I'm doin' wrong, but I know Him." Have you ever heard a more beautiful confession? "I know Him, but I'm messed up." 

Yeah, that's me, too young man, me too. 

Isn't it funny what you're willing to give when you know your daddy will take care of you? 

Yeah. What are YOU willing to give?

If you are a woman and you find yourself to be completely happy and utterly successful, don’t bother with this book. However, if you aren’t quite as happy as you’d like and you don’t really consider yourself to be successful, you might think about reading, Find Your Strongest Life by Marcus Buckingham.

Women have lived in a paradox for many years, not knowing for certain what their role is supposed to be, often taking on what they believe it should be only to find themselves failing miserably in it or feeling so drained by it that they can’t continue on in it. In Find Your Strongest Life, Mr. Buckingham not only puts his finger right on the crux of that problem, he analyzes it and suggests the root causes. He then goes on to share ways that may well help women move beyond the feelings of uselessness into true success as a woman.

My first thought when I started reading was, “How can this MAN know?” Diving into the text, my question was answered by learning more about him and what makes him tick and learning that he has taken the time to understand women and the particular battles that they face emotionally.

From the beginning, Mr. Buckingham captures the reader’s interest by laying out the problem in bites small enough to be considered and digested through following chapters. Just when the reader is asking how to fix this problem she has now
identified in herself, the author introduces possible answers.

While his premise is his strong life theory introduced over several books, here he applies it to the problem identified in earlier chapters, teaching how to look for the strong moments in one’s life and how to capitalize on them. He has even
set up a website to take the Strong Life Test to learn one’s primary and secondary roles to build upon.

The author doesn’t overtly mention that God is the One who has gifted and designed each person in the ways he is sharing, yet that thought seems to be woven throughout the book. He doesn’t quote scripture, and some might take issue with the concept of “being true to the truest part of you” as being self-centered. I believe his tenets have merit when one envelopes them within their faith in God, knowing that He is indeed the One who designed each unique woman the way He wanted and that this process is merely a tool with which to find the purpose
God planned for us.

I lost a friend yesterday. Not in the way I’ve talked about before, but to an ugly killer known as cancer.

Maryanne Tyson was a beautiful woman. Sparkling blue eyes that showed love and hope and a bit of mischief, too. Her heart was huge. She would listen to your woes, your foibles and your despairs and then love you wholeheartedly. She would help with whatever she could and be there in any need.

She taught those of us who knew her so much in the past couple of years. Just about a year ago, Maryanne’s daughter found a lump in her breast, at which time Maryanne admitted she’d felt one in each of hers for over two years and decided it was time to do something about it.

On October 14, 2008, her journey began with a double mastectomy and chemotherapy. November saw her losing her hair and dealing with the sickness that comes with the treatment, yet continually sharing her gratitude and faith.

Her last chemo treatment was in January of 2009 then a few months later she began radiation treatments. Once again, going into the journey with the most positive of attitudes.

The mischief showed up big time once she had recovered enough from her reconstruction surgery to return to church. She wore a shirt with a message that truly bespoke Maryanne’s attitude. I laughed till I cried!

Through all the treatment and weakness and sickness, Maryanne never lost that sparkle in her eyes or the mischief in her heart. Her smile was real and constant. Her faith was strong and just plain amazing.

Sometime in August, Maryanne returned to the doctor for a checkup and learned that there was some kind of anomaly in a lung that the doctors felt needed further testing. She went for the tests and only a couple weeks ago was told that she had lesions on her brain and in her liver. What we didn’t know was that this thing, this killer, that attacked her brain was vicious and intent on taking her. After only three radiation treatments, the doctors stopped that and told the family it was doing no good, in actuality the cancer was growing worse and they expected her to die anywhere from a day to a week from then. That was Tuesday, September 8, 2009.

Thursday, September 10, 2009 was her 67th birthday. It was also the day she met Jesus. She’s known Him for some time, by faith, but on this day, her earthly birthday, she walked into His presence, whole, healthy and happy. I will miss the talks across the counter as we share a task. I will miss the sparkle, the mischief and the laughter. And I know that one day, I will see her again and I’m betting the mischief will still be there.

Until then, I will miss my friend.

Maryanne was a member on Facebook and received many birthday wishes yesterday. I want to share those just to show what kind of woman she was.

You are and have been such an inspiration to me, the way God has used you in your weakest moments. I thank God everyday for putting you in my pathway the way He did. As each day passes, we never know what the time will bring, but you always reminded me that God’s in control. Don’t worry, just trust Him, you would say…. Thank you for showing me in more ways than one, how to trust God with everything. You are my HERO, and for that “Thank You”!!!!! My prayers are with you and Russ and all your family during such a difficult time, it’s my turn to share with them what you shared with me so many times before: Be still and know that I am God! Trust not in your own understanding, I will never leave you nor forsake you!! I AM GOD!!! Michelle R.

Happy Birthday, dear friend I am thinking of you and praying for you alot & just for you, Alyssa sends her biggest smile! You’ve been a huge joy to our family and I thank God for you. I hold you in my heart. Esther M.

Happy Birthday Maryanne! Even though we don’t know each other very well I do know that I love your smile and your sweet spirit! I am praying for you and God’s loving comfort surround you. Dianne W.

Happy Birthday Maryanne. My prayers are with you and your family. Best wishes. Geoff B.

Through your Faith and courage you have changed so many lives and are such an important part of the family at COTC! We all love you and your family! Happy Birthday Maryanne! Leon C.

Happy Birthday Maryanne, this morning as I pray for you I’m having a cup of coffee in your honor. Thank you for the moments we’ve shared especially with conversations about Shelby and Emma. God bless you, I love you. Sharon M.

Happy Birthday MaryAnn…I will always treasure that short time we had that day that we went to the Dr. How we laughed and joked…You are an inspiration to many especially to me! Love You so much! Debbie T.

Maryanne, I haven’t known you very long, but you have taught me so much. You have taught me that God is working no matter what is going on in my life. You have taught me that God hears a mother’s prayers for her children. You have taught me how a Godly couple should love and support each other. You have taught me that the richest blessing God gives us are family and friends. Happy Birthday, my dear Sister!! I know God has blessed you with an extra measure of His presence today. Rhonda W.

Could there have been a better time for Max Lucado to write this book — in a time when seemingly everything we know and believe is changing?

Looking at several storms in the lives of Jesus and His disciples, Max draws parallels to our own fears, counteracting our natural response with the words of the Savior and most importantly, he shares how to apply them to those very fears that paralyze and cripple us today. I found my own understanding of fear both challenged and clarified.

I had never considered that acting from a stance of fear I was casting doubt on Christ’s character. Never in my life would I question that He could handle that situation, but just like the storm-tossed disciples in the boat, I’ve asked “Don’t You even care what happens to me?!?” Talk about being startled out of a comfortable self-righteous reverie!

We often hear in sermons and read in scripture that Jesus faced everything we do yet He didn’t sin, but do we ever grasp that about fear? Do we think that the Creator feared? Do we understand that the prayer uttered by the Lord in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before His death was that of a man terrified by an approaching event?

In Lucado’s examination of the Fear of Worst-Case Scenarios, we come face to face with the horror-filled eyes of our Savior. He knew what was coming, and He feared it. Thankfully, scripture also shares His answer. Simple, honest prayer.

It was here that I found the take-away worthy of committing to memory, “Putting your worries into words disrobes them. They look silly standing there naked.”

I love a book that not only entertains (Lucado’s version of a Dr. Seuss rhyme is priceless!) but imparts truth that is digestable and repeatable. Fearless is filled cover to cover with just that combination. From a story about his own brother’s courage to a challenge about a packageable Jesus, you’ll find yourself drawn again and again to these pages filled with hope and truth.

Well done, Max, well done.

Psalm 37:23.

Ever consider that God delights in the details of your life? Says so right there.

Yeah, I know, I screw up, too. Like. Big. Time.

Then I go into what I call “my comfy chair” where I have my God-time. I can sit in this softly cushioned chair, and feel secure and snug, looking out at Rich Mountain. I can watch as the darkness moves out and daylight washes over the mountain. Some mornings, I watch wisps of clouds assemble then disappear. God hears me ooh and ahh over His handiwork as I am pouring out my heart to him, drinking in His Word, seeking wisdom and guidance. He hears my gasps of wonder as I look up and see the green of the mountain where just a moment before a cloud obscured any vision of it.

I believe He delights in that.

I believe He delights in seeing how I handle the details of my life. I sometimes picture Him with His hand to His head in frustration and exasperation saying, “Faye, c’mon! We’ve done this before!” Other times, I can see Him beaming as His child has been obedient and stepped forth in the faith He gave, and shined, bringing Him glory.

God delights in the details of your life. Finances? Schedules? Housework? Carpool? Children? Spouse? Food? Bible study? Education? Aging? Health?

Yes.

Today’s’ challenge: Re-evaluate how YOU look at the details of your life and seek Him. Then, step back and let Him guide all those so you can delight in them, too.

(By the way, tomorrow’s challenge is pretty much the same — the days after, too.)