I can't begin to share exactly the depths of my insecurity. All my life I've wanted to feel like I fit in, like I was worth something. Like people wanted to be around me just because of me.
This morning in my GT (God-Time) I was working through today's lesson in the Beth Moore study on Esther. Beth's words sent me to Ephesians 2:6-7. Now, I knew before I turned the pages of my Bible there that it was the part where Paul talks about us being seated with Christ in the heavenlies. I have to confess: That has NEVER made much sense to me. I mean, I'm here, Jesus is in heaven. I have never really been able to wrap my brain around that concept (which, by the way, gives the enemy fodder for the low self-esteem fire he keeps burning. He tells me that any "good" Christian would understand that).
The pages fluttered open and I read these words:
For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.
Do you see it? God raised us to this new life, united with Christ — living with our minds focused and seated next to Jesus in the heavenly realms — for a reason. We sit in a seat of authority and perfection just like Jesus. But why? Why would He do that?
He chooses to point to us — me, you, believers — as examples of the incredible wealth of His grace and kindness.
I wept to think that God wants to point to me as an example of His grace. I am NOT worthy. I am a total mess most days. Yet God wants to point me out and say, "See that one? She's mine — let me show you."
Wow.
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Faye, I would NEVER guess that you have insecurity! When I hear you and speak with you, I see strength! God’s strength in you! I tell the Lord that I want that, too!
It is definitely all the Lord, Kay. There are times that my sense of my worth is sub-zero and the pits of depression just get deeper. Thankfully I have a few friends who know me and will not let me say the ugly things about myself, and when I’m sinking, send me to my chair for extra GT.