tough subjects
10. Mar, 2009 
10 Comments
Some of you may know that I'm writing a book. It wasn't my idea. Well, I guess sort of it is, I was told a LONG time ago that I was a frustrated writer. I think that was when I filled out my departure paperwork when I left Walt Disney World's employ.
About a year ago, my husband and I went out to eat. After placing our order, he reached across the table and took my hands in his. He had the strangest look on his face. You know how it is when it looks like the person has something horrible in their mouth and they don't want to swallow it, but they can't spit? Yeah, that's the one.
He looks at me and says, "In my prayer time, I keep sensing that you're supposed to write a book. I don't know what's up with that, but I feel like God is saying that."
My reply, "What's it supposed to be about?" I asked this because I'd been toying with a work of fiction based on my mother's family past.
His answer, "I have no idea."
My response, "Then go back and find out!"
We laughed and talked about other things. Still that word stuck in my mind. I pondered it. I thought about it. I prayed about it. No lightning bolts. Just the slow realization of memory when I'd been praying, really chatting with God and said to Him, "You know, God, someone really should write a book about that!" Little did I know that someone would end up being me!
So, I'm currently spending my days trying to dredge up those chats we (God and me) had, addressing the items of the day that He and I felt needed discussion (mostly me).
Some of the words have come very easily. Now I'm down to the topics He gave but I've avoided writing about. These are taking much more effort. These are the ones I'm finding myself very easily distracted from. These are the ones that call up memories I'm not the fondest of. The kind that bring up all the old emotions.
So yesterday I did something different. It's beginning to look like Spring in East Tennessee — temps in the mid-70s and higher, sun shining, so I packed up a cooler with some drinks and headed to Cades Cove. I stopped in the picnic area, finding a table in partial shade — which isn't easy since there are few leaves on the trees yet. I pulled out my laptop and started… thinking. I looked at my journal where I've written ideas and fleshed out a lot of this work. I walked over to the creek flowing gently beside the place I was sitting. I sat with my head in my hands. I prayed. And finally, words came. They aren't easy words. I have tried to write them so that they don't hurt someone, but instead bring help and healing to those who need it. But there's truth in them. Not only God's truth, but truth in fact. Truth in the fact that the events actually happened. Truth in the fact that this happens every day in the lives of others.
Therein lie my questions: Can you write about terrible events in your own life where others were a part and not lay blame at their door, yet express the truth of the events? Can you share the truth of the amazing healing power of God if you don't share the horrid mess you were that needed the healing? How can this be handled?
Related posts:
I say if you’re going to err, err on the side of truth. Truth with compassion, but TRUTH.
You sure can- that’s the story of The Shack. Paul is a friend of mine, and that’s what The Shack is all about. Have you heard his story? If not, follow this link and listen to him tell it on The Drew Marshall Show. You’ll be glad you did!
http://www.drewmarshall.ca/listen2008.html#080426
You’ll enjoy the other interviews too, but listen to the one from April 26. He tells his story, which is the truth behind the fiction of The Shack.
Thanks, Tori. I needed to hear that. I’m not naming names, but anyone who knows me will be able to tell who I’m talking about. Guess I should give the ones involved a heads up…
I heard Paul share at Catalyst last October, but I will definitely listen. Hearing his heart was wonderful. Not sure I’m prepared to go through all the stuff he’s been through, but then, I don’t think I’m going to the top of Amazon’s best seller list, either. Maybe middle ways….
Thanks!
I have a friend who’s also writing about her past – involving abortions and other issues…
check out her stuff, she’s an amazing woman of God:
kassota.wordpress.com
Tell her I sent ya!
On second thought, I’m giving her the link to this post.
I like the idea of writing a book. A lot of friends suggest compiling all of the posts I’ve made about my experiences with my forced hobby, cancer. I hope Michelle will take me up on my suggestion that she write it for me, instead. A conversation with her tonight started me thinking about expanding the material to describe what was happening in my life as I wrote all of those posts. Now that I have reviewed a few of them, and have had a chance to remember the circumstances, I think I’ll just read a new book, rather than write one.
I look forward to yours, though, eagerly.
Thanks, Rich. I’m hoping to be able to get it to the publisher at the end of this month. This act of tying it up into a final package is really difficult!
I think your idea of expanding on the posts is a great one. Having the backstory for the emotions will be compelling, and you have an amazing way with words!
Thank you so much, Mandy.
Jesus was crucified, yet he did not accuse… He said, “Father, forgive them…” Terrible events can be talked about, where others played a part, without laying blame, if you hold on to the fact that God ultimately sees all, knows all, and will deal with all in His own good way. But you can’t write about those situations while you’re IN them. You must wait until God has brought you out. Then and only then, looking back at it all through His love and forgiveness, can you discuss what happened.