absence

For the past week or so, Jack, my husband, has been preparing to go to Haiti with a group of six other men for a mission adventure. My past days have been filled with making sure he had all the things he needed in order to make that trip. Thus, absence.

You've surely heard the adage, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I don't know that I could love my husband any more than I do every single day. He's a gift that God has given me and even though it's been 18 years, it seems like just yesterday, yet it seems like forever. It's truly like having someone who is just as much a part of you as the oxygen you just breathed. 

This absence thing, though, I've been thinking about since the last phone call before he boarded the plane in Miami. When he hung up, I cried. My brain knew he's fine, that God has him right where He wants him and that everything is in His hands. My heart screamed, "YOU CAN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM NOW!"

That's not entirely true, we do have means of communication, but it's not the same. It's not just open my cell phone and press the button and hear his voice. Absence.

What will I do with my time until the Absence is done? I will go on doing those things that are necessary. I will feed the dog, eat, drink, take care of my job, talk to friends and parents — L-I-V-E. 

Then my final thought is this: Is it REALLY such a good thing to be so connected? When William Carey went to India, his family had never had a phone, much less a cell phone or a Blackberry. They knew an absence of presence that we miss out on. Not to say I don't want to be connected, I just think perhaps we've created a different kind of trauma. 

Thoughts?