friends

I've been through a rough time regarding friends in the past. I've struggled all my life with wanting to be wanted. I was always the last one picked for anything at school, except for questions in the classroom. Being the geeky, intelligent kid doesn't win you friends unless you're athletic, too.

Being discerning about friends has never been an issue with me. If someone wanted to be my friend, I was all over it, because… I couldn't pick and choose. Or so I thought.

Now I've lived a bit more and have learned much about being used in the name of friendship. Some things I've learned:

So, I've decided to let them go.

It hurts.

Especially when you've poured your life into being the best friend possible — being there for pain, anger, fear, joy, sickness, death.

But I must let them go. There are people in my life who are true friends, real friends who care about my feelings, my hurts, my dreams, and I care about theirs. They love me enough to correct me when I'm about to do something stupid and enough to go with me sometimes to pick me up when I make those decisions anyway.

Yes, I think it's time.

Related posts:

1. Wednesday already???
2. death
3. Hole in my Arm